DBT Interpersonal effectiveness skills help you build new relationships, strengthen current ones, and deal with conflict situations. They help you effectively ask for what you want and say no to unwanted requests.

After a few lessons and exercises for Goals and Factors That Interfere, three main groups of activities for interpersonal effectiveness skills are provided in DBT.

  1. Obtaining Objectives Skillfully: how to get what you want from others, while also maintaining your relationships and your self-respect.
  2. Building Relationships and Ending Destructive Ones: how to find friends, get them to like you, and maintain the relationships, as well as on how to end damaging relationships.
  3. Walking the Middle Path: In the DBT portion of this module the skills have to do with balancing acceptance and change in relationships.
  • [Intake] Universal Coaching Plan: Interpersonal Domains
  • [Intake] Universal Therapy Plan: Interpersonal Effectiveness Module
  • [Intake] New Client Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Assessment

Goals and Factors that Interfere:

  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Goals of Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills
  • [Exercise] DBT Worksheet: Pros and Cons of Using Interpersonal Skills
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Factors in the way of Interpersonal Effectiveness
  • [Exercise] DBT Worksheet: Troubleshooting Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills
  • [Exercise] DBT Worksheet: Troubleshooting – When what you’re doing isn’t working
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Myths in the way of Interpersonal Effectiveness
  • [Exercise] DBT Worksheet: Challenging Myths in the way of Interpersonal Effectiveness
  • [Video] DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Goals and Challenges

Obtaining Objectives Skillfully

  • [Video] Interpersonal Effectiveness: DEAR MAN
  • [Video] Interpersonal Effectiveness: Assertive Asking Tips
  • [Video] Interpersonal Effectiveness: GIVE
  • [Video] Interpersonal Effectiveness: FAST
  • [Video] Interpersonal Effectiveness: My Favorite Person
  • [Video] Interpersonal Effectiveness: Saying No
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Overview: Obtaining Objectives Skillfully.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Clarifying Goals in Interpersonal Situations.
  • [Exercise] DBT Worksheet: Figuring Out Goals in Interpersonal Situations.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Guidelines for Objectives Effectiveness: Getting What You Want (DEAR MAN).
    • Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce; and (stay) Mindful, Appear confident, and Negotiate.
  • [Exercise] DBT Worksheet: Writing Out Interpersonal Effectiveness Scripts.
  • [Exercise] DBT Worksheet: Tracking Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Use.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Applying DEAR MAN Skills to a Difficult Current Interaction.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Guidelines for Relationship Effectiveness: Keeping the Relationship (GIVE).
    • (be) Gentle, (act) Interested, Validate, and (use an) Easy manner.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Expanding the V in GIVE: Levels of Validation.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Guidelines for Self-Respect Effectiveness: Keeping Respect for Yourself (FAST).
    • (be) Fair, (no) Apologies, Stick to values, and (be) Truthful.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Evaluating Options for Whether or How Intensely to Ask for Something or Say No.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Troubleshooting: When What You Are Doing Isn’t Working.

Building Relationships and Ending Destructive Ones

  • [Video] Interpersonal Effectiveness: Building and Ending Relationships
  • [Video] Interpersonal Effectiveness: Skills Review
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Overview – Building Relationships and Ending Destructive Ones.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Finding and Getting People to Like You.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Identifying Skills to Find People and Get Them to Like You.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Mindfulness of Others. 
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Identifying Mindfulness of Others.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Ending Relationships.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Identifying How to End Relationships.

Walking the Middle Path

  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Overview: Walking the Middle Path.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Dialectics. 
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: How to Think and Act Dialectically.
  • [Exercise] DBT Worksheet: Practicing Dialectics,
  • [Exercise] DBT Worksheet: Dialectics Checklist
  • [Exercise] DBT Worksheet: Noticing When You’re Not Dialectical
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Examples of Opposite Sides That Can Both Be True.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Important Opposites to Balance.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Identifying Dialectics. 
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Validation. 
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: A “How To” Guide to Validation.
  • [Exercise] DBT Worksheet: Validating Others
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Identifying Validation. 
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Recovering from Invalidation.
  • [Exercise] DBT Worksheet: Self-Validation and Self-Respect
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Identifying Self-Validation.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Strategies for Increasing the Probability of Desired Behaviors.
  • [Exercise] DBT Worksheet: Changing Behavior with Reinforcement.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Strategies for Decreasing or Stopping Undesired Behaviors.
  • [Exercise] DBT Worksheet: Changing Behavior by Extinguishing or Punishing It.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Tips for Using Behavior Change Strategies Effectively.
  • [Lesson] DBT Handout: Identifying Effective Behavior Change Strategies.